How you feel inside determines how you approach the outside

Written by Payal

January 31, 2023

It’s a bad feeling to know you are unable to see the beauty outside because of how you feel on the inside.

That’s what I wrote to my friend as I sat on a beautiful beach in Mexico, a perfect blue sky, hot sun shining on me, while staring at the waves crashing in the blue water, my sneakers digging into the sand – feeling gloomy.

Observe your feelings, don’t fight them

I found myself frustrated that I couldn’t muster up the joy and reverence for the scene that was in front of me. And it struck me – I couldn’t enjoy my environment, what was literally right in front of me, because of how I felt on the inside. I knew I couldn’t fight this – I had to just let it flow through me.

So I sat there. I sat alone, feeling apart from the vibrant scene around me. Oddly, I felt at peace simply sitting.

When you lack it, give it

A good friend of mine (the same friend who was on this trip with me) had told me 20 years ago that when you don’t feel happy in your life, go help someone else. I’ve heard this repeated in other ways  – when you lack it, give it.

When you give something, you don’t have – money, joy, a listening ear, it seeps into your soul. It reminds you that there is abundance of that thing – whatever that thing is you’re not feeling you have at the moment. I headed to the local animal rescue to walk a dog.

The dog walked me

Goliath had been hit by a car and left to die when he was rescued, I learned later, which explained why his hind legs were pointed sideways. We trotted to the beautiful beach. . . where I lost all control of the situation. I thought I was going to enjoy a nice sunset walk on the beach, but instead I found myself in a tug-of-war with Goliath, holding him back from lunging at other dogs while he barked, trying to maintain my position while he pulled so hard on his leash to force me to go HIS way.

I was panicked and embarrassed. Not knowing what to do, I simply sat down and tried to watch the sun set while making sure Goliath didn’t run away. Once again – I was held hostage, this time, by a dog’s feelings vs my own. I had to give in to being clueless and helpless. And then…once the sun set, Goliath simply got up and walked me back to the shelter. He was ready to go, all I did was wait for him to be ready.

The next day, the weather was awful. Windy, raining. But this time I was renewed. I went for a long walk on the beach – getting wet, but taking amazing photos because there wasn’t a person around. This time, the external environment didn’t matter – it was no match for how I felt inside. And that’s the way I want to live every moment. No matter what’s happening on the outside, I’ll have cultivated calm inside and be able to weather the storm. And when the storm is internal – I will weather it – because like the weather, emotions flow and go.

If you’re here – if you find that you are struggling to cope with your external environment, your boss, co-workers or clients and want support as you weather your own rough weather, let’s talk? As always, no obligation to sign up as a client. I’m here for you, when you are ready.


If you’re here, and you’re considering how I might be able to support you, why not schedule a call with me? It’s free. There’s absolutely no pressure to buy anything – it’s just two people having a chat and seeing where it could go from there.


  1. Garth

    I have these same moments of clarity and lose them overtime or the level of test of the current circumstances or my fear of failure or my fear of success. This is a great reminder to check in with yourself from time to time and recenter yourself. Thanks.

    • Payal

      You know, that’s a great point. Thank you for sharing that. I think I may have journaled about this as well so hopefully this lesson seeps in. I’m currently planning a family trip and I’m keeping this very close in mind to make sure I have the best time. I’m feeling very positive about it – and I’ll be letting you know how it went! Stay tuned.


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